13th May 2004
Today I was bordering on the insane. I wanted to punch a drunkard, outside my flat whom I knew from last year. It wasn't impulsive. I was very sure, however, that there were two sides to me. One, the civil, disciplined, and perhaps too naive and ignorant me. The other, that was getting ready for action, was the wild, yet concerned social reformer, who idolised Bhagat Singh type of vengeance and social good, i.e. through violence. I got to the door, shouted at him to come to me. He came staggering, eyes glittering of recognition. But I couldn't punch him. I don't have multiple personality disorder. It's simply multiple personality. If it was a disorder, I would have punched him. I spoke to him, asked him about his health, his forthcoming exams, and why was he drunk and shouting. Maybe a stupid question to ask a Glaswegian.
Point is, I have no idea why I just told you what I did.
Maybe the guy whom I swore at next. This guy sitting in my room, at my computer, munching on chips. Maybe he would like to know. Why I kicked him out, and told him to stay away from the flat and me for sometime.
Certain things, no matter how painful, have to be done. For whom, I don't know, but this time, it was surely at the expense of my dormant personality. Yeah, the civil, disciplined..
-end-
Parag Agarwal
