27th June 2004

Dear Friend,

I shouldn't be the last person you worry about
I shouldn't be on your worry list at all

My ENERGY is infinite, and no one can remind me of this except ME

Of course, my dear friend, you make this energy sweeter

I hope to be the first person you think about
I don't want to miss out if you need me

My LOVE is infinite, and no one can remind me of this except ME

Of course, my dear friend, sharing it with you makes it worth its while

I can be anything you want me to be
Your son, brother, father, guru or disciple

My ROLES and RESPONSIBILITIES are infinite, and no one can remind me of this except ME

Of course, my dear friend, YOU, ME or I are WE...

YOU, ME or I are ONE.

-end-

18th June 2004

Every blue moon, we receive an "electric" shock that tries to rock our belief systems and our immense faith. This means we cannot take our strong faith for granted. We must also understand the concept of faith (and redefine it if we haven't already). We cannot take our faith for granted because, although it has made us what we are today, how grateful have we been? How proud have we been? How readily have we declared ourselves to be faithful? Here's the definition bit: Faith is something that can lead to experiences that reinforce it further. It cannot be rationalised all the time.

We have all experienced wonders, miracles and magical moments in our lives, but have been afraid to attribute them to our strong faith and complete surrender to God. Every blue moon, that's what the "electric" shock is for. To make us realise, so that we are proud to be faithful.

Let those who like to administer this shock do their job. YOU are not a bad, bad, child. You are the select, lucky few. And why would you want to be anyone else?

-end-

9th June 2004

I am reminded of how I have been handling myself and my relationships, dwelling on the positive while trying to suss out which one was the sour grape story. There may be countless contradictions, definitions, perspectives and states of mind but all of them together created the perfect balance for equanimity. Now that you have found this perfect happiness, you can actually give something for nothing. Those still in the search, being the gentle patient souls I'm sure you all are, think of humanity as one, in which you have a majority stake. If you don't get something you prayed for now, pray for others with similar wishes to get them. And the next time you come across a brightly-lit bubble of pink dancing in the sunshine, don't be surprised it was your prayer answered. Eventually, you will no longer be surprised because you are a source of joy with every single breath you take. You already have everything, so you can only give, give and give.

-end-

31st May 2004

Fear what, who and why? Think about this deeply. Live as if you have to shape your own destiny because you can, but let the consequences of your efforts surprise you pleasantly. If you are in fear, doubt and worry all the time, any surprise could shake you both mentally and physically. We normally call this a "rude shock". But it is actually a pleasant surprise to a fearless person.

-end-

23rd May 2004

I am thinking of gentle, kind nurses. Loving, warm smiles and their infinite magical healing touch. The last time, I consoled myself with poetry. Now, I really need superhuman will to cook properly. And not to daydream, and feel fear, as if someone needed to hold my hand with reassuring eyes to calm me down. I am jumping with anxiety, anger and frustration. Well, not actually jumping. Jumping inside. Yes someone needs to hold my hand. Not to lead me outside to play, but to my desk to study, while the food gets prepared. But I am also thinking of playing football. More than the gentle, kind nurses. Because they won't let me.

-end-